Dear Natalie: Try Epic Wipes

Ask Natalie Banner Dear Natalie: Who else does this?

By Natalie McCarthy

Dear Natalie,

What if I’m out exploring, I get super gross, and I can’t shower? It’s embarrassing to be stinky!

Signed,

Someone whose personal hygiene is at stake

____________________________________________

 

Dear Stinky Pants,

Well, we have a few options:

  1. Get comfortable with your primal lack of hygiene. – While it might take some intense mental effort, you could always shift your view of hygiene and modern conveniences like “running water” and “shampoo” and “avoiding cholera.” Hell, our caveman ancestors didn’t have any volume-enhancing, extra hydrating, silk-essenced, two-in-one body lather and hair cleanser, did they?
  2. Attempt to bathe with a combination of three ounces of water, a Nalgene bottle, and the corner of a bandana. – Don’t act like you haven’t tried this already. You have, and you determined it is a waste of good drinking water.
  3. Epic Wipes.

 

Epic Wipes 1
© 2018 – Epic Wipes

 

What are Epic Wipes, you ask? Think of a giant version of moist towelettes. And when I say “giant,” I mean they are sixteen times the size of an average wipe and far more durable.

 

Epic Wipes 2
© 2018 – Epic Wipes

 

Epic Wipes 3
© 2018 – Epic Wipes

Epic Wipes come folded in a tiny, totable pouch, so you easily can take them with you anywhere. They sent me two sizes, large and extra large, to review; I tossed one of each into my backpack and didn’t notice any extra weight. I also had to take off my backpack to futz around inside to find them, but chalk that up to my own lack of pack organization. Anyway, you can throw them dang near anywhere.

Epic Wipes’ founder, a former doctor with the US Army, thought up these wipes while deployed in Afghanistan. He figured people who carry 75 pounds of equipment on their person, through extreme weather conditions, in heavy boots, wearing a helmet might want to spruce up a little, ya know? I’ll just cut to the chase here: Kudos on your five mile hike to a manicured campsite, and like, I’m pretty sure these wipes can withstand the cleanup afterward.

(Sidebar: Really, a five mile hike is great! I hike five miles! That quip didn’t come from personal experience at all! Manicured campsites are nice because you don’t have to remove poison oak from where you’re about to sleep! Not that I ever did that.)

Here’s another cool thing: They’re not just for people. Pets love ‘em, too!

Epic Wipes 4
© 2018 – Epic Wipes

 

I tested out Epic Wipes after a modest hike. It was warm enough that I felt rather gross afterward, and these worked nearly as well as a shower! I smelled normal afterward. I was pleased with the size and texture of the wipe, and the fact that it was so large but so lightweight. It was well saturated, too, unlike those half-dried-up wipes you sometimes find. I was stoked to see that you can get a large pack of these online for a really reasonable price, and I plan to order a box for my at-home emergency kit.

 

Let’s load up the pros and cons, shall we?

Drawbacks

  • The smell. Now this might not be a drawback for you, but it was slightly off-putting for me. Epic Wipes are infused with eucalyptus oil, which has excellent germ-fighting qualities. It also just happens to smell like cough drops and the mentholated ointment my grandmother rubbed on my chest as a child. (Note: In my early social worker days, I dabbed that ointment under my nostrils before I met with homeless clients in their camps. It blotted out any terrible odors associated with living outdoors 24/7 and if you use just a small amount, it’s invisible.)  I know of plenty of people who find the scent of eucalyptus invigorating and refreshing, and so, well, you won’t have any issues with this particular “drawback.” It’s also worth noting that the fragrance evaporates from the skin, in my experience.

Benefits

  • The size. These things are huge! The company sent me both the large and extra large wipes, and let me tell you – those XL bad boys were the size of my bath towel. I was only moderately dirty when I tried them out, and the large size was beyond adequate for thoroughly demolishing any post-hike dirt, grime, and sweat. Larger bodies or folks caked in mud might prefer to start with an XL wipe.
  • The durability. Imagine a baby wipe folded on itself a couple times. That’s the thickness of an Epic Wipe. It does not tear apart unless you really throw your back into doing so (and why would you?). The material is more fabric-like than paper-like, which means you don’t have to worry about scrubbing too hard. It won’t fall apart. Despite the material’s strength, it’s still biodegradable, so you don’t have to worry about clogging up landfills with it once it gets mucky.
  • No weird ingredients. The bulk of Epic Wipes’ ingredients are essential oils, sugar, water, and bamboo. There’s a few food-grade preservatives but nothing too chemical. I dig that. I dig that I can kill germs without also, ya know, becoming radioactive.
  • Support others. For every product sold, Epic Wipes donates their product to those who really could use ‘em: natural disaster survivors, deployed military, and the homeless. When you make a purchase, you get to choose who receives the freebie.

 

Final verdict: Get them.

If you’d like to check out Epic Wipes’ line of products, head over to their website. You can check out uses for the product, read their blog, and view a video of a pixelated, nude man using an Epic Wipe. What could be more fun?

See you again soon,

Natalie

 

Resident Columnist and Reviewer at | Website

“Ask Natalie” host, Natalie McCarthy was born and raised in the urban American rust belts of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Cleveland, Ohio, in a not-particularly-outdoorsy family. She discovered the outdoors in her early 30s and now seeks out new ways to adventure.

Natalie earned her master’s degree from the University of Pittsburgh, School of Social Work. She works as a licensed supervisory clinical social worker specializing in the treatment of co-occurring substance use, general mental health, and trauma-related disorders. While her professional practice is where Natalie spends most of her time helping people with their problems, she was an online advice columnist in the past.

In the early 2000s, she was the go-to answer girl on a now-defunct website called New Girl Order. Her column there led her to research a diversity of topics, from May-December romances to why on Earth plucking our eyebrows makes us sneeze.

22 thoughts on “Dear Natalie: Try Epic Wipes

  • October 12, 2018 at 1:56 am
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    Wow! That is a cool product. Now I feel like camping is a real possibility!

    Reply
    • October 19, 2018 at 5:12 pm
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      It makes things a lot more comfortable!

      Reply
  • October 12, 2018 at 1:14 am
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    My wife and I love spending our free times outdoors and are avid hikers/campers. I will share this post with her, thank you.

    Reply
    • October 21, 2018 at 2:00 am
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      I think she’ll love them!

      Reply
  • October 11, 2018 at 2:39 am
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    Those Epic Wipes are a lifesaver! With two sons who are young adults and love hiking and camping, these wipes are going to help them look human when they are back home. This is also a good thing to have when I am babysitting my grandson!

    Reply
  • October 10, 2018 at 10:46 pm
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    Honestly, these sound pretty epic to me. I love the smell of eucalyptus so I would use them in a heartbeat. I love the concept and the practicality of it all.

    Reply
  • October 10, 2018 at 9:21 pm
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    I will check these epic wipes. I would like to keep a box or two for the bathroom and car.

    Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 6:44 pm
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    I do not camp that much but I’m always at the soccer fields with my kids. And some days I wished I had a shower! Thanks for sharing will try them for sure.

    Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 12:16 pm
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    First time to hear about Epic wipes product and it looks really a good one. I will definitely buy and try this for my kids and also for myself.

    Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 9:27 am
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    The wipes sound great, especially when you are out, this will be helpful. Also sending this to my wife as she loves camping too.

    Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 5:02 am
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    LOL Natalie, you just made my morning. Here I was searching for some kind of decent wipe to take with when we go hiking in the Drakensberg and after reading bleh reviews, I find you. You’re epic girl 😉 I hope they ship these wonderful, eucalyptus infused wipes to South Africa coz I’m so gonna want to try them out.

    Reply
    • October 17, 2018 at 1:14 pm
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      Yes!! ?? I have no doubt they’ll ship internationally (they are a US-based company) and I hope the shipping fee is modest! Let us know what you think.

      Reply
  • October 9, 2018 at 3:34 am
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    This is amazing. I happen to like the smell of eucalyptus. I want to try to get some before the next camping trip.

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 11:23 pm
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    gonna check this out seems very helpful, specially we love to go camping anywhere. Most of the campsite dont have showers lol

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 7:50 pm
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    These sound like they would be very helpful for outdoor time! I can see this being a huge plus!

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 6:57 pm
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    Oh wow! These are perfect for camping and the beach. And I love that you suggested them for pets – that’s a fab use!

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 5:35 pm
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    These wipes sound sensational, especially when you’re out and about. They would come in handy not only for eg outdoors, but for many moms in the go. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 7:13 am
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    I love camping but it’s such a mission staying fresh in the outdoors and it becomes a real problem but these wipes seem to be a life saver. They don’t sell it in our country but I’ll look into buying it online as the holidays approach us.

    Reply
  • October 8, 2018 at 12:56 am
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    Staying fresh during an outdoor trip can be a real problem, especially for women. You get really sweaty during long hikes, not to mention dirty from all the mud and dust when setting up camp and crawling into a tent. The epic wipes idea sounds really good for staying fresh and comfortable.

    Reply
  • October 7, 2018 at 11:01 pm
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    Thank you for such a phenomenal review! I love wipes!!!! Cleaning wipes, deodorant wipes etc!! So convenient when you forget something or out running about in the wild!!!!! These look amazing!

    Reply
  • October 7, 2018 at 10:32 pm
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    Thanks for your review and sharing this on the website. I need to check out those Epic wipes. They look really handy when in the great outdoors.

    Reply
    • October 21, 2018 at 2:03 am
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      So handy! I honestly will never make do with those wimpy little wipes again. They’ll stay in my car for wimpy clean-up jobs, haha!

      Reply

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